QUESTION: The first question refers to the last expression you used. Would you kindly define emotional maturity?
ANSWER: Emotional maturity is, foremost, the ability to love, the capacity to love. Many people imagine they have it. Of course, emotional maturity is relative, and is a matter of degree. But wherever fear of being hurt, fear of disappointment, fear of life's risks exist emotional maturity does not exist. Emotional maturity knows no selfishness (of course, this is relative on earth, it cannot be absolute yet on your sphere of existence). The more selfish you are, the more immature you are. You all know that one can be extremely unselfish in the little outer things; this might just be a camouflage to cover up your emotional selfishness or ego-centredness. You may give away your possessions and be unselfish in this respect; but you are afraid to love and to risk being hurt, thus withholding love from others. Therefore, you are emotionally immature, although you may possess an intellectual maturity. Emotional maturity means to be unafraid of paying the price of living. And this "price of living" includes an occasional hurt or disappointment. The mature person knows it, expects it, does not dread it, and realizes its worth; because by withdrawing into seclusion and turning inward, you thwart not only others but yourself, too. Emotional maturity means not to be afraid of one's own emotions; because if you have negative emotions your fear of them will not make them disappear. On the contrary, only by facing those negative emotions can you understand their origin, their reason; and only then can you be in real control over them, not in the false control of suppressing them. Your positive emotions, too, will not be feared because you will not mind an occasional hurt; and you will rather risk than withdraw your positive emotions from others. Because if you can give your good emotions to others, enveloping them with your warmth, comfort, and tenderness, this is more important than what might happen to you later.
QUESTION: Would you please explain what is the reason for so many people's tiredness, especially in spring?
ANSWER: Tiredness is always a sign that the life force has not been utilized as it should be in the organism of the soul. Tiredness results from suppressing the destructive forces of the soul, not allowing them into consciousness, where they could be handled properly and directed into the right channels until they can truly dissolve. If hostility and aggression are suppressed, if fears are suppressed and not faced, if hatred is put away because you felt guilty in hating and because hate does not correspond to your idea, all this causes destruction of the self, and may in one organism create one kind of symptom and in others other kinds. Tiredness is one such symptom. Spring is the season of revival of nature. The life force penetrates everything that grows: plants, trees, grass, flowers, fruits, vegetables, the animal world, even the mineral world. And it should be the same in the human being. If the human being were in tune with the universe, if the soul were in a state of healthy growth and in no way stagnating and static, spring would revive and strengthen such a person too. But it cannot do so where such obstructions exist. An obstruction is created by an element that is foreign to the divine life force. Self-deception amounts to untruth and untruth is hostile to the life force. Suppression is always self-deception; therefore, when such self-deception or suppression exists, the life force cannot penetrate you. On the contrary, it will affect you adversely because of a sort of short circuit when two opposing forces clash. The life force wants to come into you and out of you, for deep down in your soul, behind your soul, exists the whole universe, and therefore a fountain of life force. But it cannot fill your being because of the opposing forces which do not permit the life force to enter. Without suppressions and self-deceptions spring would revive you. Fatigue is a symptom that should be an indication that you are still suppressing knowledge and recognitions from yourself. Let it be an incentive that you set out twice as vigorously to break down your resistance to facing yourself. For only then can you truly become whole and healthy in body, soul, and spirit; in your emotions and in your mind. Be grateful for any symptom that shows you where you are, whether it be this or something else.
QUESTION: My question is about Job. For what failure or shortcoming in his life was he made to suffer so much?
ANSWER: For lack of self-recognition and for self-deception, out of pride and fear. There was in him an impatience to be already perfect. This is connected with spiritual pride. The desire for good was used to suppress basic instincts of all sorts that were not faced in courage and sincerity.
QUESTION: Is it true, as some interpreters have it, that he played himself up as the patriarch who deserved all the graces of God, in other words, self-righteousness?
ANSWER: Yes, that is pride. There was pride in this respect, but also in a few other respects. And there was extreme selfwill. The selfwill wanted to be already at a point where only hard labor and the humility of self-recognition can get any human being.
QUESTION: A question was asked which you have answered on previous occasions. Would you kindly repeat it in essence. It is the question of expectation, especially in the form of "positive thinking" as opposed to acceptance that is so widespread in this country.
ANSWER: I will try to formulate it as briefly as possible. Both of these attitudes can be right or they can be distorted in their misunderstanding of two wrong extremes. Positive thinking rightly understood means the knowledge that everything must turn out good finally, because the Divine is the absolute truth which cannot be conquered by destructive forces. But that does not mean that you can simply do away with the effects of your own past and present errors, on whatever level of the personality they may be. They have to be accepted and gone through. That is the most positive and constructive attitude. It indicates the lack of fear of life's risks and is, therefore, healthy. It indicates the humility of accepting yourself as you are at this point, where you cannot expect a perfect life because you are not perfect yet. It also indicates the courage to face yourself and to face life as it is. It does not mean in any way that you are pessimistic and look forward to negative happenings if they are unnecessary. Positive thinking, as it is often abused, does not want to face that which is now. It can be successful only where perfection already exists, to some degree, basically and inwardly. Otherwise it must fail and therefore bring disappointment. It is in such a hurry that it believes one can whisk away the deep-rooted personality problems -- requiring patience and perseverance to dissolve -- by resorting to a mere formula.
QUESTION: In other words, even though one accepts a situation, whether or not he expects failure or success in an undertaking, the expectation has no bearing whatsoever? Whether one goes into an undertaking with an attitude of hopelessness or not?
ANSWER: One's attitude always has a bearing. It is not so simple as to say that an optimistic attitude will bring you a good result and the pessimistic outlook a bad one. So long as you are not clear about yourself, you can have a positive and optimistic attitude consciously, but subconsciously it can be the opposite. This may be for various reasons, one being that you do not quite know what you really want. Then this conflict may manifest in a different way: since you do not understand the reasons, you become disappointed and you lose courage. On the other hand, some people constantly assume a negative attitude because they are so afraid of disappointment that they try to avoid it by being guarded in that way. So both in a positive and in a negative attitude something may be hidden that is not yet recognized on the surface. The important point is not so much what you consciously think. It is much more more important to be aware of what you unconsciously feel. A mere thinking formula can never be truly effective. The only answer is understanding your inner self, your subconscious reactions, your inner conflicts and problems. Only in that way will you finally have the right attitude about anything, whether it concerns a forthcoming venture or hope, or anything else in your life. Until this is done, the recommended attitude would be one of neutrality.
The Guide
by Eva Pierrakos
April 10, 1959
Copyright 1959 by Center for the Living Force, Inc.