Occupation With Self -- Right And Wrong Faith

By The Pathwork Guide

Greetings in the Name of the Lord. I bring blessings for all of you; blessed is this hour. There are many good, kind, and even spiritual people who say, when hearing these lectures, that it is not good to think so much about the self. They feel it would be better to think more about other people. They say that occupation with the self leads to selfishness. Of course, it depends entirely on how the occupation with the self is done or in what way one thinks about other people. It is wrong to think about yourself in a destructive way, filled with self-pity, complaining about your fate, and brooding about unproductive things you may have missed in life and about things you cannot control, and therefore cannot change. Whoever leans toward this sort of self-occupation should not only apply the advice of shifting the emphasis from yourself to others, but should also learn to change the self-occupation towards a different direction, namely the productive one.

For those who cannot do the latter, it is infinitely healthier to think of other people by helping them, by giving up some selfishness and by sacrificing something in order to help those who may need you. Those, however, who are ready for the proper kind of self-occupation should think of others in the right way and practice it at all times. One does not exclude the other. When you do something helpful and forget your own worries and difficulties, you are doing something really worthwhile all around for others, as well as for yourself.

On the other hand, occupation with others can also be practiced the wrong way, and unfortunately it very often is. Constantly thinking of other people's affairs, criticizing them, and judging them certainly does not help you to become less selfish. The mere fact that you are thinking about others instead of yourself is no guarantee that you act spiritually, just as the mere fact that thinking of yourself -- if done in the right way -- is no proof of your selfishness. It all depends upon how it is done. In both wrong extremes, people so often deceive themselves. If they think about others destructively, judgingly, they try to believe that this is good; they are holding on to a once-heard statement that occupation with the self is harmful. They use this truth in the wrong way to rationalize their wrong reaction. On the other hand, the unproductive and weakening kind of self-occupation is often hidden under the mask, "I must get to know myself; I must analyze my feelings"; but nothing of the sort is ever done. So be careful in what way you think about yourself -- and of others. Test yourself in this respect too, my dear friends.

There is also another possibility, my dear ones, that a spiritually highly developed person may use all his efforts in thinking and sacrificing about others, helping them to the best of his abilities, and thus doing a great deal of good. However, even more is expected of just such a person because his spiritual development would warrant it. And that is the purification of motives, the deep self-knowledge that is the indispensable requirement to spiritual development. Such an individual may neglect this part of his task and escape the issue by the strong emphasis on helping others. Again I say that this help to others need not, and must not, suffer merely because you know yourself better. On the contrary, please do try to find out whether you -- some of you -- may not belong in this category.

All of you who hear or read these words, my friends, are ready for the right kind of self-analysis, which never needs to neglect the helpfulness towards others. You may already have the right actions and even the right thoughts in many respects, but as development proceeds, this is not enough, as you well know. In order to accomplish this, it is imperative that you occupy yourself with self-probing and testing, severe self-criticism, and analysis of your deeds, thoughts, and emotions with regard to spiritual truth and law. For he who does not know himself cannot know others; he who does not understand himself cannot understand others; and he who does not love himself cannot love others. Again the objection may be made that to love oneself means selfishness. Again I say that this is true if self-love is practiced in the wrong way by self-indulgently shirking the necessary pain of life with all its responsibility. This is the small self that should not be loved, that must be severely treated by yourself. But if you have no healthy self-respect and do not love your greater being, which is the divine being you are, you can never truly love others. This self-respect and love for yourself in the right way can only come forth if you do all that you have planned in spirit to accomplish on this earth in spiritual development. If this is neglected, no matter how much you cover it with subterfuges and self-delusions, deep in your subconscious remains the fact that you are not developing as you should; that you are not keeping a number of spiritual laws in your emotions, if not in thoughts and deeds; that you are escaping yourself in some way. All this leads to self-despisal, which is the true cause of inferiority complexes, no matter how well these may be rationalized. Therefore, you can only respect yourself if you do the utmost spiritually in self-development, in sacrifice for others. And only when this well-founded self-respect is present can you truly respect others. So you see, my friends, how the circle must close here, too. The more you practice the right kind of self-occupation, the more unselfish you must become, and therefore the better you will be able to help others and do good works for them. Think critically about yourself and be compassionate with others. But how many people, even spiritual people, do just the opposite. They ignore so many of their faults, their sick trends, even those quite noticeable to anyone else. However, they are always ready to condemn others, if not by words, they do so by emotions and thoughts.

It is so important for all of you, my friends, to learn to accept other people's shortcomings, as you must learn to accept your own. Here, too, the right way to do so is all important. I have discussed this subject often enough, so I will not go into it again. To accept one's own faults properly means neither self-abusing despair and discouragement because you discover yourself to be more imperfect than you thought you were; nor does it mean to want to remain as you are. Always you will find two entirely wrong extremes and the one and most difficult middle path concerning every individual human trend. Therefore, perhaps you will come to a better understanding of the fact that nothing in itself is ever good or bad, right or wrong. It is always the "how" or this right middle path between the two wrong extremes that determines whether you are on the right track or not. So only when you accept yourself in the proper way will you be able to accept others as they are and live according to this one spiritual law that demands from you that you use your efforts where they can bring results: That can only be yourself. You are the only person over whom you have the power to bring about a change. You can never, never change another; therefore, your efforts are lost in that direction. You can, however, help to influence another person inasmuch as he or she may then decide to change himself or herself in turn. This influence can only be truly productive if you set the example first. As long as other people's faults bring you disharmony of any sort, this indicates that deep down you resent even more the fact that you cannot do so. This inner reaction means the breaking of a spiritual law. And this should be the best indication to you of where you stand in accepting yourself as you really are and doing so in all humility. The more serene you remain in the face of other people's faults, the more you have accepted yourself as you are. Thus you will have a healthy basis in your soul, no matter how many imperfections still remain in you. However, the more you fight inwardly against other people as they are at present, the more you refuse to accept yourself. Think of that, too, my dear friends.

So you must learn to accept people as they are and to be tolerant of faults you, yourself, may have. Often you must go even further than that. You particularly condemn in another person the very faults you yourself possess. You are not aware of this, of course, yet it is so. Only by getting to know yourself thoroughly can you, for instance, accept other people better, understand them better, and love them better. In order to be tolerant, you do not have to be blind. It often happens that a basically intolerant person does not want to see another person's faults in this case because deep down he is afraid that by noticing them he could not continue to love this person. In addition to this wrong reaction itself, such a person will then be convinced that he is extremely tolerant because he never sees the faults in those he loves. This is another one of those masks man so often takes on. Real tolerance and real acceptance is to be found in the person who clearly sees another's faults because he is not afraid to love and respect any less because of them. With such an attitude you not only help others around you, but you help yourself. My dear friends, I beg all of you to think carefully about this subject. In your next meditation, ask yourself whether you are too critical about others, whether you actually condemn them, even if you do not consciously think so. Your emotional reactions to other people may amount to that. Test yourself in this respect. Ask yourself furthermore if you are not blind to some of your own mistakes, while you are so busily fighting those of others. I can assure you that if you do that and react in the right way towards your findings, you will gain a great new peace by this change of attitude. For what robs you of your peace and inner harmony is never what others do, but always and solely your own wrong attitudes and inner fights against conditions you cannot change and, what is more, you are not supposed to change. You are supposed to change yourself. Once you have done that you will be free and you will feel a new independence concerning other people's behavior or reactions that can never bring you any harm in the last analysis.

Now I should like to discuss two facets of faith. First of all, there are many people who are sincere in their endeavors in spiritual development, yet their faith is not whole. Somewhere there is always the hidden doubt: "Is it really true? Is it not imagination? Am I not being deluded about all this?" I should like to talk about what to do with such a trend, my friends, In the first place, it is not advisable to push this sneaking doubt aside. You do this so often in sincere good will; part of you does not want to have these doubts. And somehow you think that by hiding these doubts they will disappear. But, as you know, nothing that is pushed into the subconscious can really be successfully dealt with. You are afraid to let the doubts rise to the surface because you assume that that might change your course: you might then fail to go on in your spiritual endeavors.

However, this need not be so. Once you clearly understand that your doubting part is not the whole of your personality and that, in spite of its existence, there is also another part in you that does believe, you will not fear that the realization of your doubts may lead you to give up your spiritual strivings. In all respects the human soul is full of contradictory currents. The sooner you understand this and do not despair when you encounter the negative part or the part that you do not want to recognize, the better it will be for you. The trouble connected in doing so arises from your mistaken notion that either one or the other trend is true. Both have their reality in your soul and fight with one another. This fight can never be successfully carried out as long as you lack the courage to acknowledge that side in you that you do not like to own. It will be easier to do that, as I said, if you understand in principle that you can, and that you do consist of two contradictions in one respect at the same time. Whether this concerns this question of faith versus doubt, or any other character problem makes no difference. Once you have acknowledged in yourself that doubting part, follow this advice: Know that it is God's grace when this complete knowledge (I do not even refer to it as faith) and the experience of God's existence is given to a person. Try to develop your own humility concerning this lack of complete faith. Say to yourself: "I have not deserved this grace. I am not the judge of what I deserve or not. I have to fight my way through with my half-faith; the willing part in my being wants to develop and become a better and emotionally more mature person, so as to handle life better and love and help others more effectively. In this endeavor I will patiently and humbly wait until the grace of God is given to me."

If you cultivate these thoughts and these feelings and if you continue to battle with your Lower Self that always wants to obscure the way and obstruct your path, one day, I can promise you, this complete faith must be yours. Then you will have experienced God in such way that you will be utterly convinced. However, just as other people's experience and grace cannot be convincing for you, regardless of how hard they may try to tell you, so will it be when you experience God's truth and existence in your life. You will not be able to transmit this to others who are still battling for the attainment of this divine grace -- complete faith. Each individual has to gain this major experience and change in soul development by his own efforts.

Another facet of faith is this. There are people who have complete faith, as complete as can be possible for the individual in question. For every impurity of the soul somehow influences also the incompleteness of faith. You are usually unaware about this. Perfect faith would mean no disharmony in your life whatever and no fear in any respect. But none of you have gone that far. However, there are some in whom faith is stronger than it is in others. But often in people of this kind there exists an unrecognizable feeling or trend that he or she is something special to God. He is a favorite of the Lord. He holds a very particular position in his relationship to the Father. He is something quite unique and thinks he can possess God for himself. This is a harmful feeling -- and also a dangerous one. Dangerous because there is so much pride contained in it; and also because it is so very easy to deceive oneself. The self-justification is always ready at hand that all this is wonderful and an expression of one's devotion and spirituality. Here we have one of those cases where good and pure motives -- the desire to come near to God, the love for the Creator -- mingle with the bad and impure ones: spiritual pride and separateness from one's fellow creatures. Since you will be utterly unaware in your intellect that such feelings exist in you with regard to your relationship with God, it is your task to test yourself if and how strongly this may apply to you. When you have discovered such feelings -- even to a small extent -- think that you are not rated any higher or any more than anyone else in the eyes of God. This feeling that you are something special to God can be considered as a transitory state in your development. Your longing for and love of God is awakening before your pride and selfwill have left you. And these two opposite trends combine in this temporary state. But you must be aware of it and you should not believe for one instant that this is right and good. It is part of the growing process that has to be finely sifted and purified by yourself. I invite those of you to whom this may apply to test these feelings when you think about God, when you feel God, and when you strive in your desire to get nearer to Him. Though you feel this is all it should be, is there not somewhere this hidden feeling that you have never acknowledged in which you believe yourself nearer and dearer to God than do other people? The root of this feeling may even exist in people whose faith is not real as yet. But it will come out stronger once faith becomes whole -- as the transitory process mentioned before. So please, my dear ones, test yourselves here too. And when you have found that this may apply to you -- at least to a small degree -- you should begin to work very conscientiously concentrating on your relationship with your fellow creatures. You will often find that there is a particular intolerance in people who feel themselves specially loved by God. There is often even a kind of arrogance towards others; perhaps not always in your outward behavior, but in your inner attitude. Try in your meditations to choose a person whom you do not respect particularly; or one that particularly irritates you. Then think how very much God also loves this particular person, just as much as He loves you. Even if the other person happens to be spiritually less developed, he is still loved by God. This will be a wonderful exercise, exactly the medicine you need, my friends.

The human soul is a very complicated piece of "machinery," if I may use this expression. Purification does not lie in the fact that you simply overcome your faults. This is not easy and it takes a long time. It is only possible after you have understood well many of your trends and reactions of which you are still unaware. So your immediate goal cannot be perfection, even though it is the ultimate goal. Know this ultimate goal, but work first towards the immediate one, which is knowing and accepting yourself as you are; having no illusions about yourself; attaining a healthy attitude towards your shortcomings; learning to live according to life's rules, and not shirking from the sometimes necessary difficulties; and so on and so forth. In short, it encompasses all that you are learning here. Only after this is accomplished will you gradually begin to alter some of your wrong trends and begin to react differently -- but only then. Purify your motives first and clarify them. Separate the wrong ones from the good ones in one and the same action or reaction. That is your task at the present time. And when your faith is lacking, do not stop in your strivings. For you are a good person and as a good person you want to become better: more whole, more loving, so as to do more good around you. Even if you cannot undertake this hard work at all times for the sake of God because you are not always sure that He really exists, do it for your love of others that is a basic part of you. It often happens that he whose faith is still weak has a greater love for other human beings than does he whose faith is strong and who feels, as mentioned before, that he holds a special position in God's eyes. Both are transitory states and will one day even out and harmonize in perfection.

Moreover, when tests befall you, as they must, you should pray that your thinking capacity will not be paralyzed too much. That is what usually happens to a person who finds himself in a difficult situation. Just hold on to this thought: "Father, give me a clear outlook, even though I find myself confused and unhappy and mixed up at this moment. Help me not to forget that which I otherwise know. Let me see Thy truth in this situation, not as it appears to me at present in my very limited outlook." We can often observe that when you are undergoing a test, you see things completely distorted. When you are convinced that the negative outlook you have is the only truth, you so easily despair. You even forget in such moments that which you would ordinarily think of at once and what you would ordinarily see quite clearly. It does not occur to you to ask the truth of God, because even for that your thoughts are too encased in darkness. Only after you come out of this darkness will you be aghast at your having been so blind. You can save yourself many a difficult hour by turning to God at once and by realizing this fact I am explaining to you. Fight this temporary blindness by training your thoughts and your subconscious to get a strong hold of this fact. Train yourself for that which may come before the tests so that you will meet them with better mental equipment.

The Guide
by Eva Pierrakos
1958

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