Finding One's Faults

By The Pathwork Guide

Greetings in the Name of God and Jesus Christ. I bring you blessings, my dear friends. In the last lecture I talked about the difficulties you will find on this Path; how dangerous it is to approach it, to undertake it with the illusion that by a few meditations and some miracle formulas all your earthly troubles will disappear. However, it is equally far from the truth to overestimate the difficulties on this Path. I can see that some of my friends became a little discouraged; their unjustified fear serves as an excuse for the lower self who always wants to avoid purification and improvement. Certainly the Path is difficult, but, my dear friends, let us examine this fear. God is wise and just, and He will not give you more than you can bear or more than you are capable to accomplish. The higher your development, the stronger you are, and therefore more can be expected from you. But if you are still weak, then perhaps the smallest effort will be sufficient for you. Each individual is unique, but no one can truly achieve happiness in this life if he does not accomplish spiritually the maximum according to his destiny. This Path, together with my instruction and guidance, should help you to this end. The proper attitude for you to have if you happen to fear that this Path is too much for you is to trust and put it into the hands of God: let Him decide for you, ask Him. But how very few people turn to God when the mood of doubt about this decision takes hold of them. Even though you may reverse it later, you are all quick to decide that all this is too much for you, and it does not even occur to you to ask God for His will in this respect.

Another great misconception you often get tangled in is that in order to follow the Path I am showing you, you will have to neglect other aspects of your life. My dear friends, I can observe the forms of your thoughts and feelings: your lower self constantly fights against the right decisions and delivers all sorts of excuses and pretexts, and you yourself do not know why you have these thoughts and what is really in back of them. You may believe that devoting a certain amount of time and effort to your spiritual development will take too much time from your daily struggle for livelihood. You think that you may not have enough strength left for your professional efforts and your duties in connection with earning your daily bread. You may believe that not enough time remains to enjoy life. All this is so very wrong: spiritual development in general, and this Path in particular, is not an "extra activity" in your life. You do not add it on to your other activities, thus diminishing the strength, time, effort, and zest that you would otherwise have available for all your other duties and pleasures. It is quite the contrary, my friends. The truth is that this Path of purification represents the foundation of your life. It is the ground on which you walk, symbolically speaking. You simply shift the tracks of your life, if I may say so, into different channels. After a while, even though your main problems will not disappear from one day to the other, a new life spark will awaken in you that will furnish you with a heretofore unfamiliar acumen, strength, vitality, and ability to enjoy life as you have never done before. You will do better work in your profession, you will get more rest from your times of leisure, you will get more pleasure out of life, regardless of what you do. But now all this is still more or less flat for most of you. This is the result I can promise you if you work spiritually in the way I am showing you; if not at once, then after a certain time and after some victories. And then you will see that this Path is well worth taking, even from your selfish point of view and even though your main conflicts have not disappeared as yet at this point. This is so because on this Path you eventually find out where -- in your deeper feelings, reactions, and thoughts, as well as deeds -- you have broken many spiritual laws. By this realization you will gradually be in a position to change these inner currents and emotional reactions. This automatically frees a strength and a life force which was so far locked up or blocked off. I am not promising you a miracle that will be given to you as a reward from heaven, but I am showing you plainly and logically that it cannot help but work out in this way because all this is based on the law of cause and effect that works quite naturally and impersonally.

So you should not consider the decision for this Path as some additional activity in your life, as you may consider, for example, starting to take lessons in some new field that may rob you of the time and effort for other necessary or desirable things. This is the foundation of your life; it will make your life a well integrated whole. For if you can solve your inner problems and errors -- and only you yourself can do so on this Path -- you will eventually solve your outer problems. But, as I have said before, you should not expect this to happen from one day to the other: because you have often wasted many lives, and the wrong habits of thinking and feeling have ingrained themselves deeper and deeper in you from one incarnation to another, and the knots have become tighter and more confused. So it must take time to loosen the knots, to untie them completely, and to understand the workings of all your inner currents in relationship to spiritual law and truth. If and when you have accomplished this to some degree, your outer problems will cease. This will not happen when you put more effort and concentration on the outer problem alone; you must find the inner problem, which is always the cause of the outer one.

All the good things in life -- happiness, joy, pleasure -- you will reap if your soul is becoming healthy again and if your inner currents flow and conform to spiritual law. Only then will you be capable of happiness. How many people are capable of happiness? Very few, my friends. The majority are actually as scared of happiness as they are of unhappiness. You desire great happiness, all of you, but the further out of reach it appears, the more desirable it seems to you. While if there seems to be a chance once in a while to realize such happiness, you shrink away from it. Oh yes, my friends, this is so. Think back in your life: examine your feelings in these rare moments and analyze them from this angle, and you will see that I am right. This is a symptom, it indicates that the soul is sick and has deviated from one or more spiritual laws. For he who embraces life wholeheartedly, without fear, without self-pity, and without being afraid of hurt, follows a very important spiritual law. Only he who can do so is capable of experiencing real happiness. Everything you do in life will have more flavor and will have more awareness and life spark if you follow the Path of self-knowledge and perfection; if you do what God wants you to do. It will not take more time than is reasonable according to your life circumstances. Everybody, without exception, is capable through a little will power, determination, and the proper organization in his everyday life, to spend a half hour a day for his spiritual development. You spend your time on your physical body in order to feed it, to rest it, to cleanse it, and you certainly do not feel that this takes something away from your other duties or pleasures. You naturally take it for granted that this is a necessary, self-evident part of your life. Yet, when the question arises to do the same for your soul -- and less time is necessary for your soul than for your body -- then your laziness, your fears, your doubts, and your questions bar your way. Think about it reasonably, my friends.

Do not be inspired by your own lower self. As long as you do not recognize how this lower self works, how it manifests, and in what devious ways it presents handy excuses, you will not be able to master it, regardless of how sincere your love for God may be. Love for God is wonderful when it manifests itself in beautiful prayers and meditations, but you also have to do the work. What is this work? The work is to master your lower self; to do good to other people. But how can you really do good to other people if your impure currents force you into false and untrue thoughts and actions? You may be able to do what you believe is a good deed, yet it is not really a good deed if it is not supported by purified feelings. Pure feelings is your goal on this Path, and you do not need more than a certain amount of time everyday and a certain amount of will power to accomplish this, my friends, as well as detachment from the ego and a great deal of common sense.

Some of you have really made this wholehearted decision. Some of you have not. But for all of you it is important to understand how to deal with the lower self who works in the unconscious mind and sends only subterfuges to the surface. Even those of you who are really willing to follow this Path of purification will have many fights with your lower self on the way, because the lower self has strong currents he does not want to part with. You must educate your lower self. It is important that you train yourself to understand what is hidden behind these doubts or fears that want to take you off your Path -- and make it more difficult for you to gain the self-understanding that you need. Your lower self is the one factor that you have to deal with first, my friends, and be wary of at all times. Learn to see through your doubts and your hesitancy; learn to see through your stubbornness and your unwillingness to understand. The more you become aware of your entire person, who you really are, the easier it will become for you to overcome your lower self, who constantly obstructs you.

There are some thoughts in you, my friends, that I can see between the last lecture and tonight's: "Isn't it enough if I am a decent person? God loves us all and if I just try to be good and behave right, that should be sufficient. Why do I have to go through all this?" No, my dear ones, it may be sufficient for some people, but do not ever forget that anyone who is guided to hear these words assumes an obligation. You yourselves expect more from your lives than just being what is commonly considered a "decent person" who does not harm other people. The fulfillment of this obligation works out for your own good: by overcoming your lower self you free yourself of your own chains. I have discussed this again and again.

Let us return to the assumption that it should suffice if you are good and do not harm others. What constitutes "harm to others?" To harm someone else is not only to steal from him or to say ugly things behind his back or to kill or maim. You may harm another person by not having enough love. No outer or forceful kindness will make up for this lack of love in your soul. You may may harm another by not having enough understanding or by being blind. If you are blind to yourself, you are perforce blind to others. All your faults, every individual one, stand in the way of insight, understanding, and the flowing of pure love. Imagine the love of God, this marvelous light that lives in the soul of each individual, and imagine your lower self standing between you and this light, and the effect it has on your surroundings. So, you see, you do not only harm by bad acts and bad thoughts, and not even only by impure feelings, but also by lack of understanding and by withholding the love that you are capable of in order to achieve your full potential in this present incarnation. This is true self-development. But it is not only your faults that are a hindrance for you and thus directly or indirectly harm others, it is also your fears. Perhaps you do not realize that your fears cause a great deal of harm not only to your own life, but also to others. Fear is not considered a fault, and yet it hides your light, your love, your understanding, and your truth. It is not enough to overcome your character weaknesses; it is of equal importance to overcome your fear.
 
As long as there is fear in your heart, you harm other people, for you send out certain rays that have a very unsavory effect. Do you know that to the spirit fear has a very ugly smell? And do you know that your spirit, your subconscious mind, smells the fear of others all the time and is affected by it constantly? You can only guard yourself against the fear emanations of others as well as your own negative response by eliminating your own fear; for then you will consciously understand the fear of others and only then will you be immune to it. Your own lack of fear will make you intuitively aware of it in others and its presence will reach your entire consciousness. But as long as you live instinctively, unknowingly, and unaware of your fear and its effects, you are not only suffering from your own fear, you are also penetrated by the fear of others. There is a vicious cycle in motion that can only be broken if you gain sufficient self-awareness and understanding about these facts. If this is not done, the fears of others, reaching you and increasing your own fears, set up a hard wall between your own soul and those of others. For there is nothing as "contagious" as inner currents, positive or negative ones. So do not believe that it is sufficient to be merely a "decent person." This term varies greatly according to a person's overall spiritual development and what he or she is capable of achieving in fulfillment and purification; God evaluates each individual in a different way. Do not imagine that you do not harm anyone by simply refraining from the more obvious evil deeds, for as long as there is fear in your heart, you harm in subtle ways, in ways that are not obvious, but nevertheless just as destructive.

My dear friends, think about what I have said to you and meditate on it. As I have previously indicated regarding this work we have undertaken, it is not sufficient, if you really want to follow this Path, to read this lecture just once after you have heard it. There are sentences which you should read several times and meditate on so that you gain enlightenment and deeper understanding about certain meanings. Do not just read it, because you will forget it. These are deep meanings for you personally here and it is important that you work with them. It may often be necessary for you to go back and study and digest certain concepts that are still unclear, and that you have trouble incorporating into your daily life. You yourself will know when this is necessary.

I have promised to show you how you should go about pursuing this Path. There are many ways. Each individual reacts differently. I cannot give personal guidance for the manner in which to work on this Path in these general lectures. But I will give you certain basic guidelines which will help you make your own plan. You do not have to work according to my words to the exact letter; details in the manner or the timing may vary for each one of you. This is all right as long as you keep the basic structure in mind.

You all know that to gain self-knowledge is of imperative importance. But how can this be done? The first step will be to think as objectively as you possibly can about your own person, all your good qualities and all your faults. Write down a list, as I have often advised, because this writing down, black on white, helps to concentrate on and condense what you have found out so far and will prevent you from losing your grip over this knowledge. It might also shed a new light of understanding and create a little bit of detachment in your consideration of yourself.

Later on, when you have gained further knowledge about yourself and about your subconscious trends, if this list is clearly, concisely, and conscientiously put together, you will be able to combine certain factors of this first-found knowledge. The next step would be to ask someone who knows you very well to tell you what he or she honestly thinks about you. I know that it takes some courage to do that. Consider this your first effort to overcome a little of your pride. By doing so, you will have attained some victory that will already free you of one little inner chain. I would suggest, my friends, that all of you who are here and all of you who read these lectures and cannot be present at these sessions personally but are willing to follow this Path, get together with one or two friends who have the same endeavor and who are interested in the same goal. If some of you who read these words and cannot belong to this group are alone in this spiritual interest and wonder how to find the proper person to work with, I advise you to pray for guidance in this respect and you will see what happens. For whoever needs help -- and knocks on the right door -- will be answered. And I can promise you that if your wish is sincere, you will be guided.

As for my friends who are here, even if some of you come here alone, you should have no problem in arranging to meet every so often with one other person here and discuss things pertaining to your work on this Path; it is important in many ways not to do this work on your own. Opening your heart to another person brings a spiritual help that you could not receive by yourself. If you are always alone, no matter how hard you work, no matter how intelligently you read or study, no matter how honest you are with yourself, you become locked up in a certain vacuum. If you share your problems and your work with another soul, a completely different type of evaluation and understanding flows into you. It is the law of brotherhood. By remaining all alone, you violate the law of brotherhood in some subtle way.

In order to share your soul with another person you need a certain amount of humility. This must appear difficult in the beginning, but after some time it becomes second nature. Soon you will be able to cooperate with another person, to talk openly about your difficulties, your weaknesses, your problems, and you will be able to receive criticism. Receiving criticism is soothing for the soul. Each one of you who has tried to open up will confirm that by merely discussing a problem you have kept to yourself for a long time you bring it back to reality; it suddenly loses some of its over-magnified proportions and some of its fearful aspects. By being yourself as you really are, you make a gift to yourself and, at the same time, you give love to the other person: you help him more by showing him your own human weaknesses than by trying to appear superior. Your partner or co-worker will do the same for you. Try to organize this, if you have not already done so. You will see after a while how helpful and fruitful this will be. It will give you food for thought; you will help each other and you will learn a lot about brotherhood, about humility, and about mutual, detached understanding.

As far as asking for your faults is concerned, it may not always be best to do this work with the person you have chosen as your spiritual co-worker, because not all people who come here know each other very well. Your own friends or family have known you very well and they can tell you more about yourself than your new friends here. I would advise you to ask for the help of those who have known you for a long time, even though they may not share your interest in this work, and regardless of what they believe; they will respect you for your sincere endeavor to improve, to learn about your faults. If you ask in the right way, and you explain to them that you cherish their opinion, that you want to get to know yourself in order to improve, and that you will not be hurt or angry with them should they say something that may seem unjust to you, you will be able to listen to them and learn from what they say. It is possible that by doing that you may gain the understanding of the very people you wished to influence and that you were unable to convince by lecturing them. By sharing your desire to see your true self, you will be showing them a truth that maybe they could not see up to now.

When they tell you your faults, think about them calmly. It might happen that what has been revealed to you seems at first entirely unjust and you may be hurt. You may be even more hurt if a truth is told to you. But even if you have the sincere conviction that something told you is an injustice, collect yourself and try to think about it: there may be only one grain of truth in it. Your friend may just see the superficial effect; he may not have the ability to see what lies underneath, to understand all the complicated mechanisms of the soul; he may not choose the right words to express what he really means, or he might not understand why you react in this way. But that grain of truth he was able to grasp might open a new door to your self-evaluation. It may not be something entirely new to you, but it is often necessary to consider the same fault from new angles, under a different light, before you understand the various effects that this one imperfection may have on your life. When you make your daily prayers and meditations, you should concentrate on this. It might be better for you to devote less time on vague introspection and concentrate instead on asking God to help you see yourself in truth, and to give up the distorted view of yourself you have adhered to. Ask God for inspiration and enlightenment about your true self; ask for help to be open to receive the truth from others in a sincere and productive way. Bring all the faults you are beginning to see more clearly into your daily meditation; start in this way, and you will have made a very good beginning.

You learn by training yourself to observe your own inner reactions when you deal with the unpleasant in you. This is of the utmost importance. I began this lecture by saying that the lower self constantly resists your efforts. Here, for instance, you have a wonderful opportunity to clearly observe your undisguised lower self as it works and reacts. Try to observe it as you would observe another person. Try to be a little less involved in it. When you are dealing with the unpleasant side of your personality, try to put a little distance between your powers of self-observation and your ego, your hurt, your vanity, and the reactions of your lower self. By recognizing your own reactions and understanding them, by knowing where they come from, and perhaps by humoring them a little and not taking yourself so seriously, you will gain another step on the ladder. But do not expect this from one day to the other. After some time of intensive regular work, you will come to the point where you will feel this distance between you and your hurt little ego quite clearly, and where you will be able to humor it and not be so very much involved in it. When you feel this detachment the door will open for further self-understanding. If you have not yet found a proper co-worker, pray for guidance and you will be helped. Get together once a week and tell each other what you have accomplished so far, where you still have difficulties, what your inner reactions are. This will give you a great deal of joy. Take your own "inventory," and show it to someone close to you and who can help you to add to this list. Meditate on it and take it all to God and ask Him to help you further through daily prayer.

Your efforts will not be in vain, this I promise you. If you are conscious of this work and you meditate on it everyday, you will certainly be successful and it will not be too long before you will see actual results in your life. You will often have a feeling of deep contentment and peace, a peace that only a person who does what God expects him to do can have. When you have a good day, a day when you feel strong and alive and full of enthusiasm, it is the right time to make contact with God and discover His truth in yourself. Consider the good days as a source of strength that will be with you when you have to face difficult times again. When you feel low, discouraged, and doubtful, it is important to know how to fight and not to give in to these moods. Choose these dark days to read what I am saying here, to consider it, and to take it to God. It is not easy for human beings to form the right thoughts at the right moment. It is a training in itself, but it does not take so much time and effort; it is really nothing else but a habit that has to be formed. If you are low and discouraged, and you feel like giving up, study and meditate on what we are discussing tonight. Keep this material where it is easily available; go back to it. If you are still in doubt, ask God for His truth and His will for you; ask Christ to help you to be receptive to it; do not succumb to your mood and pray: "Father, is this your truth, is this your will for me? I am open to receive your answer." If you do this sincerely and with your whole heart, disregarding the resistance of your lower self that always lurks nearby in these moments, you will have gained a major victory. Take these words with you tonight and use them as a first step, as a concrete beginning on this Path.

Do not forget that all suffering in your life is a result of your shortcomings and of your fears. If you did not have any shortcomings, there would be no fear in you; no fear to make you so miserable; no fear to make you blind to the joys of life. Remember that! It is up to you to break the chains of fear by following this Path. The decision is in your power, the future is in your hands. If you truly want it, you will receive the strength you need. You will have time to fulfill your daily duties infinitely better than you have done before. You will have time to enjoy life more fully without the fear and insecurity that constantly lives in your soul and gnaws at your happiness. If you trust that God will give you what you need, you will gradually receive the material and the spiritual strength you need to complete this wonderful work that is your Path.

The Guide
by Eva Pierrakos
March 28, 1958

Copyright 1958, 1977 by Center for the Living Force, Inc.

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