Intensity An Obstacle To Self-Realization

By The Pathwork Guide

Greetings, my dearest friends. The divine blessings streaming in the atmosphere, around and within you, are a powerful force, available to you, provided you are open and receptive to it.

Self-realization means that man is aware of this universal, cosmic power, available at all times. It is man's tragedy to be cut off from this power, to be oblivious or ignorant of its existence. For knowing of it is one of the prerequisites of making it available. Now, when man enters into the realm where it is possible to make this power available, he finds himself in the predicament of not being able to know what he has not experienced. Therefore, to bridge this gap between previous experience and the available power, it is necessary to consider the new possibility. This is always the intelligent action of every new step of branching out, whether this be in science, or in any other realization of truth. However, man is usually not ready to do this, for he falsely believes that he must have definite opinions. He fluctuates at all times between a definite Yes and a definite No. No discovery can ever be made with this attitude. The attitude must truly be, "Is it possible? Could it be? I will honestly look and consider the possibility, with all sincerity and without shirking any effort in any direction that may prove to be necessary.

This may sound like a complex task, my friends. However simple it really is, it is one of the peculiarities of man to find it so very difficult to adopt this attitude. Therefore, one of the hindrances to making the universal power available is the inability to seriously and openly question and make oneself available to a new truth, no matter how revolutionary it may be, and a new outlook that seems to contradict previous convictions and experience.

This obstacle of denying a fact that is immediately available, because the openness to look without preconceived ideas is absent, is never entirely a result of just "never having thought of it." When this is the case, a person will instantly adopt this open attitude, again and again. The rigid refusal to look and consider, the adherence to opinions, often not even based on actual and personal experience but merely on hearsay, is always a result of personal fear to look at the self.

Another grave obstacle to self-realization is that man has unconscious attitudes, opinions, thoughts, and feelings which completely contradict his conscious attitudes, opinions, thoughts, and feelings. This discrepancy presents a major block, for the unconsciously held material covers and barricades the cosmic force. The mind believes it is expedient to block off this material, therefore it cannot relax, it cannot adopt the flexible, unafraid attitude that is essential to be attuned to the cosmic force. Therefore the road into man's unconscious is absolutely necessary in order to realize the power he has within himself. Each false concept, each wrong conclusion, each erroneous opinion, each destructive attitude, each negative negative emotion stands directly in the way of the realization of this power.

All this you know, and we, on our pathwork here, work diligently. However, no matter how much all of you are concerned with this pathwork, it is often so easy to lose the outlook of the aim and significance of self-realization. Self-realization means, as I said, to make use of the power you have. And this power is tremendous, my friends.

The power is twofold. It is a cosmic energy and strength that is so revitalizing and so infinite, so undying, so self-perpetuating in its dynamics, in its aliveness, that you cannot even dream of the effect it can have on the individual. The whole of life must drastically change when this energy is made available -- not here or there because of temporary openness to the power, but permanently, through a changed personality that no longer cultivates attitudes which obstruct the power. The energy works according to in-built law. As you know, it is totally impersonal. When conditions prevail that are compatible with it, its flow will stream without obstruction. When conditions are incompatible, it is blocked. According to the way the unblocking occurs, it will begin to flow again, which is often different from the way man expects it. It happens according to immutable, impersonal, in-built law.

The second aspect of this power is its autonomous intelligence. When this is comprehended so that you can integrate with this intelligence and this power because there is no longer any unconscious material in you which you fear and shirk, then you are truly independent. Independent of authority and help that comes from outside of you. The dire need of such authority cripples you, for you possess everything you ever need within you. If you do make use of it, there is nothing to fear any more in your life.

The main topic of tonight's lecture is the discussion of a specific obstacle to making use of this power. I have not spoken about this specific aspect in the past, except in a very cursory way. It is a specific soul movement, an emotional climate that I wish to describe. In order to be compatible with the universal power, it is necessary that the personality be in inner and outer relaxation. Such relaxation does not imply immobility, nor lack of energy. It is not the kind of false relaxation that does not breathe, move, respond. Quite on the contrary. This state, when attempting to describe it, may easily be confused with indifference, passivity, or laxness. It is none of these. But it is entirely free from tension, due to fear, pride, and selfwill.

Man's habitual state is one of more or less taut intensity, which is foreign to and incompatible with this universal power. This very intensity may cause, as a final effect, an outer immobility, paralysis, over-passivity. But these extremes are always the result of an intensity of soul movement, which must be dissolved.

There exists a great deal of misunderstanding, typical of the dualistic approach to life. Without perhaps putting it in so many words, the idea exists that the more intense the person is, the more he is serious, responsible, and concentrated; conversely, the less intense, the more irresponsible, frivolous, and distraught. This is not true, my friends. In fact, it is just the opposite. In truth, only when the psyche is in flux and is not taut can the personality give its total attention to what it is doing, thinking, feeling, and experiencing. This means wholeness, integrity, undivided motives and attention. This state can be achieved only when there are no opposite forces dividing the inner person, hence no hidden fears. The more lightly psychic material flows, the more energy is available to invest into life, and the less exhaustion will follow when energy is expended. The unnatural tautness and intensity of man's state of mind and emotions has become so much second nature that it has been accepted, not only as natural, but as the desirable state, connoting all the spiritual qualities I described and which are, in truth, only realizable when the psyche is "unintense."

Every neurotic attitude is a result of, as it also results in, artificial intensely, which is half-consciously deliberately cultivated and nursed. This cuts you off from the life stream. The reason for cultivating this destructive attitude is in part the dualistic misconception mentioned before. Partly, the motive for it is childish self-importance, to set one off from the rest, to draw attention to the self by making everything seem so important. It is what I often referred to as self-dramatization. This may happen even within oneself and never be displayed to others. In the deepest sense, all mental illness, all emotional imbalance is a result of a deliberate intensification of soul movement.

This is a very subtle process, that becomes observable when you focus your attention on it. Man is so used to a state of inner tension that only repeated focusing of one's finely attuned perception will produce verification of this intensity, which will then be felt as something foreign and unnatural. This is the first step toward being able to let go of it. It will feel as though you were shedding a tightly constricting straightjacket in which you had lived. You will step out of it into a new freedom that may at first feel fraught with dangers. You will feel exposed without it, only to learn that all you expose yourself to is the revitalizing life stream of the cosmos. You will then realize how hindering this tautness in you is. The artificiality of it creates an incompatibility between your inner personality and the universal power. It causes a deep indentation in the soul substance, while, in a healthy state, the soul substance must be unindented. You will even come to feel this indentation, which is connected with too tightly held convictions, too intense and exaggerated emotions, over-reactions, as well as muscular tightness. All this prohibits the flow of the force. The universal power must enter into all levels of the personality in order for it to function well. If the mental realm is too intense in its tightly held views, the fresh flow of the life force is prohibited. If the emotional realm is too intense through unreal emotional intensity, the life force cannot enter. If the physical realm is muscularly tense and taut, the life force cannot enter into the physical system. Thus gradual illness, decay, and physical death come about.

You may remember that a few years ago I gave a lecture on the expanding, restricting, and the static principle, as the movements of the cosmos, the rhythmic breathing of everything alive. This cosmic breathing can only exist when there is no unreal and artificial intensity in the system. The indentation of soul substance through intensity causes paralysis on all levels. On all levels, resiliency must exist in order to be open to the universal power. And resiliency cannot exist when the flowing movements are made taut through too intensely held opinions, emotions, and physical, outer and inner muscles. It does not matter from where you start to look at and become aware of your own intensity. If you follow through, you will dissolve the cramp that such intensity causes on all levels.

The misconception that intensity is favorable and desirable also applies to pleasure. It is believed, half consciously and half unconsciously, that the more tautly intense the personality is, the greater the pleasure. In other words, intensity is not only supposed to connote seriousness and concentration, but also pleasure. This is not true at all. The lighter and easier the flow of the personality is -- it may first appear almost as "inconsequential" -- the greater the influx of the cosmic force and, hence, the more heightened the pleasure. Intensity is an ego-attitude and prohibits the letting go of the ego. Thus pleasure cannot be experienced to the extent the ego holds on and obstructs the involuntary processes. A person who takes himself and life "too seriously" is unable to partake of the cosmic flow. This is why self-realization is often deceptive when one tries to convey it in human language. Its properties may so easily be confused with truly undesirable and faulty attitudes. The lightness and lack of seriousness are not what they sound in words.

So let us recapitulate: a relaxed, lighthearted, natural, undramatized, unintense personality is essential in order to look at the self in truth; in order give its undivided attention to whatever it does; in order to renew itself with energy so that more can be invested; in order to be whole in motive and in experience. This must not be confused with the numbness that is the result of a hidden layer of fear and resignation. The latter is dead, the former is vibrantly alive. Intensity and over-indentation of soul substance are also confused with being alive, while letting oneself be in the natural state first appears as "not sufficient life."

This applies to very subtle levels, my friends, it may not be easy for you to know what I am talking about. My words may seem obscure. It is therefore necessary that you listen with more than your intellectual self and ear. And, furthermore, that you become observant of yourself until the intensity of your emotions, thoughts, and also your physical being becomes conscious and you begin to sense the unnaturalness of it, to feel that this is foreign to your innermost nature.

Total self-realization, therefore, brings laughter and humor and, as it may seem, a lack of seriousness or heaviness. But this does not connote in the least an impairment of integrity, nor a half-heartedness or division or conflict in any of one's approaches to life. Quite on the contrary. The intensity I discuss is always connected with impairment of integrity, dishonesty on some level, and division of motives and attention, as well as a refusal to give of oneself wholeheartedly. All these create the need, as it were, to be intense. This is very important to understand, my friends.

Integrity, honesty, and lack of self-deception in the way you give of your total self in whatever you do, combined with this lightheartedness, are the properties that set up the conditions compatible with the universal power. It can then manifest in both major aspects. It can flow and stream through your entire being, revitalizing all inner and outer organs, all facets of your person. And the autonomous intelligence can manifest from deep within you, guiding, inspiring, and instructing you until your separated ego integrates with it, so that you become undivided and whole. The Divine then lives in you and you live in It.

The opposite state, on the dualistic plane, is that man is over-serious, heavy, and intense on the one hand, while he is unconcentrated, divided in motivations and desires, and self-deceiving on the other. This imbalance must give way to the opposite on both sides. Where division of direction exists, the directions must unity; where conflicting desires exists, the stream of the desires must unify; where impairment of integrity and dishonesty -- perhaps on the deepest hidden levels -- exists, honesty must be totally established; where an unwillingness to give of oneself to life exists, the willingness to invest of oneself must be established. Simultaneous with this re-orientation of character and personality will be the possibility to let go of the intensity and become light where heaviness had prevailed. One does not have to take life and the self so seriously, in a negative, despairing, heavy way, when one takes life and the self seriously through the honesty one accords to both and through the sincerity of wanting to give as much as one wishes to receive. Nothing will be so final, nothing has to be fought for or against. And this lack of intensity, in the right way, makes the universal power available, while the intensity I discussed is a cramping up that blocks off the universal power. It is then often confused with seriousness, concentration, wholeness of purpose and being, as well as passionate pleasure. It is really used as a substitute for the real honesty with oneself and life, with the undivided attention one gives to every aspect of living. These afford the un-intense state of being which is so pleasurable and so constantly self-renewing.

My friends, this is a very decisive step in your growth: when you can come to this, can pay attention to it, and begin to be aware of it. Even lone before you are actually capable of totally letting go of this unhealthy intensity, the mere awareness and understanding of its significance will indicate your great progress. The moment that such an awareness is established, some of the constriction will loosen up and infuse you with new life energy.

The constriction of over-intensity makes you withdrawn, taut, and immovable, no matter how frantic the artificial movements may be that are the result of the over-tension of soul substance. The movement is an outer struggle, but the inner powers of the life force are literally prohibited from moving you, just because of the intenseness of the outer tautness, whether it manifests in jerky movements or in paralysis.

Self-realization and unification with the power current of the cosmic stream means to go out, to move toward life and toward others. It is this outgoing movement which man is so afraid of. He holds back, he shrinks within himself -- and he thinks that he is then secure. He is often unaware of this, too, for he may have assumed certain mannerisms that give him the illusion of being unafraid of entrusting himself to this power that moves and unites him with life and with others. Superficial devices may make him oblivious of the fact that he does not really want to show himself as he is to others, but only with his masks and covers on. This is not honest contact with another person. This separateness causes misery, because it is the same separateness between the self outwardly and the self inwardly; the self and others; the self and truthful, real attitudes to life; the self and the life processes.

The universal power is utterly trustworthy. To distrust it is sheer folly, my friends. All you have reason to distrust is your fear of yourself, which only exists because there may still be an area or two which you still wish to deceive yourself about. To the extent you determine to no longer do this, fear can be overcome. Your salvation will be found in the realization of your own cosmic powers.

Another obstruction is false goodness, which we might also term sentimentality. This is also easily overlooked. It is due to a combination of two trends: One is man's innate and genuine desire to be outgoing, to love, to be truly sincere to the depths of his being, and to trust the universal powers. The other is his fear, with its subsequent dishonesties, so that he withholds himself in a tight grip on his ego. The innate urge to let go of the outer self and entrust oneself to the cosmic inner processes must always exist. It means truly to love. When fear, pride, and selfwill block off this direction, loving is impossible and outgoingness inverts. The tendency to go out, trustingly and lovingly, can never be squelched, because it is an integral part of the nature of creation, it is life itself. You are a part of life, and therefore must "tend" in the same direction. The conflict between the tendency to follow life and the fear to do so creates false goodness, or sentimentality. False goodness results when real feelings are blocked. It is obligatory. The personality feels guilty for hindering his natural feelings, for having numbed them. The vibrancy of real feelings makes over-intensity unnecessary; and it also knows no "obligatory" feelings (false goodness, or sentimentality). It is free and spontaneous, since love has nothing whatever to do with duty. If the vague emotions were sincerely interpreted into words, they would say: "This is the way I ought to feel, but unfortunately cannot genuinely feel."

False goodness stands more in the way of the realization of the cosmic power than the admission that one is feelingless as yet where one wishes to feel; that one is loveless as yet where one might wish to love. Once these admissions are made, it is possible to utter the desire for being able to feel and to love, while in sentimentality one lives under the illusion that one has already attained this state. When that admission is made, it is then possible to come to that part in you where you say: "But I do not want to fee. I do not want to love." As long as you are not connected with that part of yourself, you cannot be connected with the life processes, with reality, with the universal power. For your resistance to feel and love is your present reality. Denying this present reality really makes it impossible to experience a greater reality.

If you can ask at this phase of your pathwork: "Where am I still involved in an obligatory goodness because I do not want to face my refusal to have real feelings?" you can then proceed and question your deep, innermost self as to why you refuse to do so. What is the fear and the reluctance? And you can also begin to observe your tautness and the intensity that surpasses relaxed and natural attention, concentration, and fullness of experience; that does not feel pleasant at all, but is problematic and leads to still greater problems in yourself and with your environment. Deep, full feelings do not have to be intense in this negative sense. Become aware of the difference. Focus your attention on these subtle variations, where thoughts, feelings, and body are strained; where reactions exist that may not really be as strong as you now make yourself feel. Are your feelings really that intense? Consider the possibility that if they were left alone in their natural way, you might not feel that unpleasantly strong about this or that at all. Is this or that conviction really that strong? Do you have cause to be that convinced? Let the intensity of the conviction go and consider the possible opposite. And next, become aware of the many little areas of tension in your body, of intensity of muscle tissue, and your whole physical being. When you thus focus your attention on these areas, you may detect a reluctance to let go. What is this reluctance? In order to be un-intense, you need to have a certain amount of trust in what goes on with you and life, a trust which you do not have. This trust can only come when your self-trust becomes wholly justified. But even before this is the case, it is of great value to you to merely observe your reluctance to un-tense yourself and to know that tension and intensity are the immediate blocks to self-realization. You can also know then that your reluctance is directly connected with a reluctance to see something in yourself. This, in turn, is directly responsible for your self-distrust, hence distrust of the creative powers.

If these areas are observed, you have truly approached the threshold to self-realization. Self-realization will become a gradual process, where you feel yourself flowing with the universe, in harmony with it; where you contact this deep intelligence in you, without which nothing can really be successful. When this deep intelligence is left out, whatever you decide or do cannot possibly yield satisfactory answers or results.

This intelligence is first contacted and manifests, and you subsequently begin to see its utter wisdom and total rightness, its indivisible, unitive principle that has no dualistic conflicts of good versus bad; it is as if you had contacted a foreign power within yourself. But as you do this more and more often, each time overcoming the ever lessening misgivings to commit yourself to something you cannot quite trust yet, the integration between your conscious volitional self with the unvolitional processes of this vast power becomes more firmly rooted. Each step of the way, each new overcoming, proves to you how justified your trust in it is. With each such step you become more aware of the reality of this power, and that power is yours. How can man live in fear with this treasure? There are no longer insoluble problems. And since this power exists all through the universe, it is in you, and in everyone else. When this realization truly permeates and penetrates your whole being and your total understanding, brotherhood in the real sense is inevitable. Dislike is only a superficial factor, and you know that you are all united by this power. Conflict between self and others ceases. You become highly unique and yet like all others, in the best possible sense.

This is the way, my friends. Each time I have the privilege to talk to you and help you shed light on this path from a different angle, with a different consideration, I give material for you which you have a choice to use as much as you desire.

Are there any questions in connection with this lecture?

QUESTION: Somehow, for the first time, your lecture upset me very much. I ask myself if this is so because I am near this point you are talking about and resist it?

ANSWER: Can you pinpoint what upset you in the lecture?

QUESTION: It has to do with the hope a human being could have ...

ANSWER: It upsets you because you are not yet quite ready to trust it. It is upsetting in a sense that one knows that these possibilities exist, and yet one does not trust oneself yet to go that way. This is why a large faction of humanity violently subscribes to hopelessness, negativity, to the view that the world is chaotic and senseless. This is just as much wishful thinking as the childish hope that a deity will do your salvation for you, and that you could be helped by observing other people's advice and authority, and that then heavenly bliss will descend upon you in a life beyond. The adherence to an outer faith and allegiance, no matter in what orthodox or unorthodox shape it takes place, is no more wishful thinking than hopelessness. The latter says: "There is no need for me to do anything, or face anything unpleasant, or change my personality, or give up a destructive attitude I do not wish to shed, for it all makes no difference anyway."

If like makes no sense, if there is no rhyme or reason, if there is no evolution and continuum of all that lives, then indeed the overcoming of character defects is unnecessary. Subscribing to a nihilistic philosophy of life one can comfortably shirk unpleasant aspects of self-facing. This is why hopelessness is no less wishful thinking escapism than the hope of being taken care of by another intelligence than one's own. In both instances it is possible to avoid facing the unflattering facets that destroy the ideals one holds about oneself. Both are two sides of the same coin: the rosy-colored future in a life hereafter by adherence to an outer faith and obedience to laws and rules that come from outside is fundamentally no different from the hopelessness of nihilism, for both avoid that which seem so difficult -- honest self-facing.

QUESTION: What is the reason, and who bears the responsibility, for the majority of humanity not being able to perceive the cosmic force? Is the situation that most people are unaware of the cosmic force due to lack of development?

ANSWER: Yes, it is a lack of development, it is lack of awareness. Now, who bears the responsibility? Each individual himself. The truth, so difficult to face for so many people, is that no one is ever responsible for anyone else. This may seem incomprehensible in view of certain historical happenings, or in view of superficial considerations when judging according to appearances and in possession of fragmentary truths, but, in the last and deepest analysis, each individual entity is responsible for himself. Whatever happens in the course of a life offers the opportunity for unfoldment and expansion of awareness. Of course, it is also quite true that a child in the lowest grade of school cannot understand what an adult understands. So it is not at all a question of "sin" when a person is unable to perceive. It is different when someone has the capacity, but it too unwilling to do so: when he could unfold and expand, but deliberately hinders it by needless destructiveness and obstinacy.

Mankind as a whole today is exactly where it must be, where it cannot help being, for it is the sum total of all the individuals, past and present, who inhabit this earth. Each individual for himself has the opportunity to make every living second of life an occasion for expansion and growth. Anyone who seriously pursues this path can corroborate this. Whatever happens to you, you can make it the greatest stepping stone, the best material for further growth; or you can allow it to influence you adversely. This does not merely apply to unhappy incidents, but every bit as much to the favorable events. They can often hold back growth just as much as the traumas of life. This may encourage laziness, stagnation, and illusion. So it entirely depends on what man makes of anything that happens whether it will be helpful or hindering in this expansion of perception. Man has the tendency to adjudge and determine outer conditions and not his attitude as the decisive factor in his life. It is always the latter that determines what is of real importance.

Cosmic forces can become available only through overcoming outer difficulties, which are the direct reflection of inner obstructions. Once an individual sees this and knows that he is responsible, he is on the road toward the realization of his real self, or, to put the same thing differently -- the realization of the universal powers.

QUESTION: As a physician, I ask if there is any way that the cosmic force can be applied in some way directly to human beings by physical means, by physical devices. Not necessarily to solve the whole problem, but to help alleviate suffering and to help give a direction. For instance, Wilhelm Reich's accumulator and certain other devices as explained by Cayce and other people who work with this, are they really attempts in that direction?

ANSWER: Yes, they are. These and many others, in many corners of this earth, which are not publicly known, are ways to channel the life force so as to flow in man where it should and could if an imbalance had not taken place in the entire system. It is possible to make the life force more available to the physical system through outer devices, and thus even open the possibility for an inner penetration by the cosmic powers into the mental and emotional realms. However, it must be understood that, no matter how much of it can be made available through physical devices, the essence of the life force is a mental, or a spiritual, power and its availability depends on mental or spiritual attitudes. The effect of physical devices must, after a while, wear off if the mentality does not become compatible with the nature of this cosmic power. It can be used physically and temporarily, up to a certain degree, but there is a limit from that direction. The best way to use it is always to help the personality to re-orient himself. The physical approach first may give to many the necessary stamina they otherwise lack. A change of personality does not make man lose his uniqueness, but rather makes him more uniquely himself by eliminating distortions, imbalance, and destructiveness. The personality must become compatible with this power in order to no longer rely on devices from the outside, but to have constant access to the inexhaustible source of this power deep within his own being. As long as people working from the outside understand this, all is well, because then they will not be disappointed when the effect does not last.

May all of you make full use of what I have given you tonight, so that the wonder of this universe, of this life right here and now, can unfold itself for you. Not through shortcuts, illusions, wishful thinking, and panaceas, but through the actual decency of honesty with yourself and your life. Be blessed, all of you. Be in peace, be in God.

The Guide
by Eva Pierrakos
April 7, 1967

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