QUESTION: I am experiencing something new lately, which is evidently a result of this Pathwork. I am no longer so afraid and frightened, but still something is bothering me. Deep inside I know that I am not afraid, and yet on a more superficial level I seem to think that I am. Is that what you were talking about?
ANSWER: Yes, indeed, exactly. It is part of it. You see, you seem to function on two levels, simultaneously, as it were. This is a typical experience a person goes through when transcending the foreign body and beginning to experience and sense this other reaction, coming from his real self.
QUESTION: How can I completely get rid of the fear? Because sometimes I seem to shift the fear to something else,
ANSWER: The moment you shift it onto something else, you again get away from the reality of the immediate now, and therefore new attempts have to be made to get back to the reality of your feelings.
QUESTION: My hostility...?
ANSWER: Yes. It is hostility, it is hurt, it is, at times, vindictiveness in a way that is turned around -- punishing others by your state of unhappiness. If you can acknowledge all that, your fear will vanish. And gradually these emotional attitudes themselves will disappear, because they are faced in the now. When you get to the nucleus of the now, there are no more problems.
QUESTION: My sister has a great compulsion to physically run away. And when she gets there, she wants to turn around and run back. There is something of which she has a great fear. Can you find out and pinpoint that?
ANSWER: Yes, it is an outer symbol of the inner fear, mentioned in this very lecture. There is a great readiness and willingness to love, the potential is great, but, in spite of this fundamental potential, there are afflicted areas where the soul does not dare face what otherwise comes so naturally to her. The existing misconceptions and confusions, as always, stop the flow of love. Just because love is such an inborn need for this person, the afflicted areas cause even greater self-rejection and therefore fear of finding these areas and therefore flight from the self. This, then, is symbolized by running on the material level.
QUESTION: In other words, she has to turn inward?
ANSWER: Of course, that is absolutely necessary, always and in all phases.
QUESTION: Do I run because I don't love or because I am afraid of being rejected?
ANSWER: It is intermingled. The immediate feeling is fear of rejection. This started very early in life. My friends may have noticed that, for the longest time, I have shied away from anything that might appear as pointing an accusing finger at you. The implication should be avoided here of "you do not love." This would be grossly misleading and would hinder insight. But when fear of rejection is analyzed -- in any shape, manner, or form -- there is always that childish fear wherein love is precluded, in this particular respect, regardless of how much love may otherwise exist in you. But please do not take this in a self-moralizing way. This would make it more difficult. Just, at this moment and on this level, acknowledge where you are in fear. Before coming to the level of not loving, other factors have to be recognized. In the final analysis, it amounts to this, but this is not an overall condition, it merely applies to the trouble spots in your psyche. The extent of the troubled area varies, of course. There are people who may have many areas in which they function healthily and happily and constructively in life, in correspondence to soul areas that are entirely free from misconception, underestimation of self, illusion, fear, and other destructive conditions. Hence in these areas love and trust exist. There are only isolated areas where the foreign body blurs the inner, real being. In others almost the entire love capacity may be hindered by such grave impairment and distortion that the overall life is disturbed and disharmonious, unfulfilled and unhappy.
QUESTION: As I see it, this love you speak of is an expression, in some form or another, at all times, not just in relationships between mates and sweethearts. It is the love for work, and so forth. What could be some of the very highest aspirations for the realization of love in pure flow? Would they usually be a creative force, creative realization? Would this actually be expanding from a point where one has known one's environment, one's experience, to a point that has been unknown before? Would this be true?
ANSWER: Yes, of course. Most decidedly yes. Because it is imaginable for human nature to comprehend the ability, the free-flowing current, of the love force, or the versatility, the scope, and the variety of its expansion and creativeness. Let us suppose a human being would exist who was entirely free. Hence, the inner being of this person would be constantly manifest, functioning, and expressing. This tremendous power of the life force would flow into all directions. Since there is freedom, there is no fear of the unknown, therefore there is no blockage to the free-flowing energy current and the vast possibilities of creation and expansion.
QUESTION: Do I understand you correctly that aggression is sometimes a good thing?
ANSWER: Yes, there is a healthy aggression. There also exists a healthy anger. This is a byproduct of the interim stage of human nature. Healthy anger must occasionally exist in a well-integrated life. Healthy anger does not dissipate or weaken the personality. Healthy anger does not create inner disharmony. It is a great misunderstanding to ignore or to deny this fact, which comes from the artificial holding together of one's inner forces and from superimposing forced, false goodness. Fear and obedience lead to the impression that occasional anger never exists in a truly spiritually evolved person.
QUESTION: In that case you would permit physical violence?
ANSWER: No, healthy anger does not necessarily manifest in physical violence. Expression of negative emotions, even when they are not healthy, need not in the least lead to destructive acts, whether they be physical or otherwise.
QUESTION: What about people who are violently persecuted? What should be their attitude?
ANSWER: The instinct of self-preservation will most certainly make them fight and defend against such an occurrence, whether by counterattack or by flight. The healthier the whole personality, the more certainly does this instinct function to choose the right defense at the right time. This, again, is not an intellectual consideration but, as always, a spontaneous manifestation of the real self. If necessary, such counterattack and defense will also be physical.
QUESTION: Regarding the expression of anger, I find it unbearable... [the rest of the question is inaudible].
ANSWER: Sometimes it is inadvisable, sometimes it is advisable. This is what I mean: you have the choice. When you are not aware, you do not have a choice. The more you are aware of this possibility of execution of choice, the more freedom you gain, the less you will feel or think that restraint is due to outer demands, outer authority. Hence rebellion against restraint becomes superfluous. There is a great difference whether you exert restraint because of outer demands by the world or because you choose to out of your own free will. Paradoxical as this may seem, the more you willingly choose restraint, according to alert reasoning and constructive motivation, the freer you become. It is not -- as might be supposed -- true that the less self-restraint, the freer the person.
QUESTION: What about the reverse of what you were just saying: What about the person who is afraid, or too insecure to show righteous anger? Now, what is happening to love in this situation?
ANSWER: This is a very good question. Where there is fear of expressing a justified anger, to that degree there must be fear of loving. Behind both of them is confusion, misconception, illusion. It is these misinterpreted hurts and pains that cause the nucleus that I was talking about. This nucleus hinders and obstructs the real self, out of which flows love, genuine love as opposed to superimposed love, and the capacity to express healthy anger, as opposed to the twisted, tortured anger. When there is this insecurity, that makes a person too anxious to express justified anger, he is as yet incapable of feeling healthy anger. The justified issue induces conflicting feelings. Healthy anger makes a person stronger, twisted anger makes him weaker. Healthy love is all-embracing and enriches the person the more he gives out of himself. Sickly, distorted, false love impoverishes and breeds conflict between one's own self-interest and that of others. It comes from, and increases, duality: it is always the good versus the bad. Ungenuine love is always connected with self-pity, resentments, hostility, conflict. There is always the feeling of "I ought to love, therefore I think I love, yet I do not want to love because then I will be taken advantage of. Since I ought to and do not want to, I feel guilty, I am bad." Hence no healthy anger can exist. It is dissipated at the source, for the person doubts his right to feel anger, since he does not dare to love.
The Guide
by Eva Pierrakos
April 30, 1965
Copyright 1965, 1980 by Center for the Living Force, Inc.